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Since small, I live in a “fair” culture. My parents treat us equally until now. We get the same amount of sugary treats when we were kids and my mom bought 4 necklaces with key pendant each when I was 21. She gave me one and the rest would be given to my siblings when they turn to 21. That time, my youngest sis was 7 years old. In a way, she knew what she would get after 14 years later. If by any chance, the amount of “stuff” whatever it is could not be divided equally, my mom would just take the remainder. Not my brother or sisters and certainly not me would have the “special” or “extra” share. Of course, same goes for punishment. Everyone involved would get their fair treatment, that’s no doubt about it.

Do you think it is weird?  Well, I’m not. This is important to make the children feel that they are belong to the family and they are loved and cared by their parents. We detect no bias and every kids get the equal attention. Thus, we respect our parents and the family bonding is strong. This is what makes me proud always.

Sadly, this is CERTAINLY not the case in this world. If everyone is always mindful and think at other people shoes. This would be a much nicer world to live in. To those drivers who like to cut queue in a bottle neck of a traffic, what would you feel if you have been queueing there for long, your patience is dying, and suddenly this guy ”forcing” his way to invade the 1mm space in front of you? Would you feel good? To those people who bully a cat like a tiger but behave like a timid cat when facing a real tiger, why you want to make decent people life miserable? Do you think bullying would make you look more macho in front of a tiger? Well, if you were a cat, then just be a good cat, forget anything that you think would make you look like a tiger, because you can’t run away from the fact that you are just a cat. Tiger is not stupid anyway. And to the lady who cut queue shamelessly and use the treadmill (as if I was transparent) in my company gym this evening, I was OBVIOUSLY waiting for YOUR friend to finish his jog as I was WAITING behind the treadmill. SHAME on you. Please do not let this happen to me again, else I would confront you. It is not the matter of I MUST use the treadmill and nothing else. It is the matter of RESPECT. Hello, let me repeat, R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

This is a small matter seem like and I shouldn’t be so angry about it. I know but I couldn’t help it. That’s why I said my past life could be the famous Bao Qing Tian.

We were rushing to PNG from AS. We departed earlier than usual so that we could catch the badminton final live in TV. Stuck in the jam on the PNG bridge, we were so agitated, especially my brother (he kept calling his friends to check whether the match has begun or not) but eventually we managed to reach home just in time.

Shorter than expected, the match ended. Was I disappointed? Affirmative. I guess many were too.

Today, my colleague sent me a link to his blog. I’m not sure whether it was indeed his blog or not but there were uncountable comments to comfort and congratulate him for bringing us a long waited silver medal. He apologized in his blog for bringing us down. Many new comments kept popping up to cheer him up and encourage him to continue fighting in future games…

What this has proven us? He is indeed a very good badminton player and he has the capability to give a good fight to LD. If he does not have the ability, I do not think he would attract so many fans to stand by his side. He is simply superb, whom can make M’sian proud and hope! Why I was disappointed then? It is not because he didn’t win a gold medal. It is simply because *hate to say this* he did not play to his usual standard in the final, it wasn’t a good match. No one can deny that he played excellently from the start to the semi final. Our hopes grew along with his every steps towards the final. That’s why came the disappointment when the gap of the scores grew larger and larger until it was impossible to catch up.

To LCW, *if he happens to read this blog*. You are a very lucky guy. I as a M’sian am very proud of you and you would have my faith still the same. Your tremendous effort to work to world ranking #2 is admirable. Treat our supports and hopes as your motivation not pressure. Just like a log transported downhill via river; if you were the log, then our encouragements and prayers is the river water pushing you to the destination. Log would not sink, wouldn’t it? Jia you!

Okies, I know it has been long. But who cares? Do you? ;p 

This morning, I had my breakfast in company’s cafeteria. There were a handful of ladies in their 40’s chatting while having their breakfast at the next table to mine. Well, I could hear what they said, not that I wanted to but hmm… who can shut their ears? Rest assured, they were not gossiping and I did not hear anything bad about you, so don’t worry.

At first, I did not pay attention to them until one lady blurted out "crying is actually a good thing!". Eh, this is interesting! I have not heard people commented like that before. To many, cry is a symbol of weakness, especially to men. I’m sure since small, men are taught not to cry by their fathers. No matter what has happened, no matter how painful is that, no matter how heart broken it is, boys must not shed a tear. Well, is the license to cry solely owned by women?

"A person who cry can let go the sadness easily and he/she could recover fast afterwards" said the lady. I agree with her. Through tears, all the negative thoughts and feeling somehow flow away. Only then, your mind could have space to allow positive thoughts to flow into.

Laugh is a sign of happiness. And cry is a symbol of many emotions which could not be described by words. It can be sadness, disappointment, frustration, fear, sense of insecurity, touching or even happiness. So, respect your own feeling and cry your heart out when you feel like to, just like you laugh heartily when you are happy.  

I remember that when I was a kid, I used to fight with my brother, Sean who is 2 years younger than me . Besides verbal attacks, we could end up hurting each other physically too. Ya, I could be a girl monster in fighting mode, my mind would work hard thinking what should I do next, "Should I punch? Or slap? Or push?’. Then, "Piak!", I slapped on his arm. Well, I got few punches in return, he was a good and challenging fighter, who would not give up easily. Anyway, no matter who was winning, both would get the SAME punishment from my mom regardless the cause of the fight.

We were always careful not to hit "important" parts of the body because of "experience" that we had gained, if those parts were hit, the punishment would be heavier. If the "case" was severe, my mom would bring it up to a higher rank judge attention, my dad. So, the consequences? Our palms would be red and swallon again with tears running down our cheeks. We were scared of dad because of his serious expression, like Pao Ching Tian and his hits were harder.

I’m not sure about dad, I think he was hurt too when he had to carry out the punishment although we couldn’t tell that by looking at his face. It is a total different story with my mom, she would cry and tears rolling down her cheek when she hit us. She said she didn’t understand why her kids couldn’t get well with each other. I had no answer that time and I was just continue my crying because my palm were red and in pain.

The fight continued despite the hurt that we brought to mom, dad, opponent and ownself. I couldn’t remember the cause but I guess they are mostly due to different stand points that we each have and we could not tolerate and accept each other’s. We wanted to win very badly to have the sense of superiority.

But now, we both have changed. We have learnt how to accept, respect and tolerate with each other. From our hearts, we give full supports, care+love and understanding whenever required . This is a wonderful feeling and I’m totally grateful for it. I would protect this relationship as long as I (humanly) could…      

"What you love me for?" - I believe is a common question among couples out there. It doesn’t matter who is asking and who is answering but I think the answer you gave does matter for it would be remembered and cherished. If your answer could make your partner flies to the sky, for lady, you may have a bouquet of roses delivered to your office the next morning plus free massage for a week and for gentleman, you would probably earn a kiss with "I love you so much!" as a complimentary. *Don’t shout at me, no harm to have sweet dream, isn’t it?* So, if you were seriously attached and have not been asked about this, maybe you want to put a thought in it.

I have been asked about this also before I mentally prepared. So, I gave him what came into my mind at that moment after few seconds of thoughts. *this proves that I answer with honesty* Apparently, my answer wasn’t what he expected because besides his "huh? Only that?"-expression, I didn’t receive roses the next day. Well, my answer was really simple and still holds till now - It is simply LOVE, because of love, I’m willing to pamper him with my care and grateful to receive his effort that make me feel like princess; because of love, I respect him for whom he is and be with him when he needs me; because of love, I said "Yes, I do" on our big day with my eyes filled with happy tears…

Such a simple answer for a common question yet it carries big weight to my heart and I hope, his too.

It has been almost a year ago, my grandpa passed away. Few weeks before he bid farewell to this world which he had lived for 90 over years, his internal organs slowed down and deteriorated. He could somehow sensed that the day was approaching and wanted to see all of us. I sat beside him holding and massaging his hand, I almost cried as I know it could be the last meeting. No matter how hard I pushed away the negative thought, the touch saddened me. He seemed to have clear sense and he knew who was holding his weak and wrinkled hand. Yes, a granddaughter whom he carried when she was a baby; whom he watched over when she took her first step…

The fact that I had not done enough while he was able to see, to hear and to walk saddened me more. I didn’t do enough when he started to loose his eyesight and hearing either. The touch, hence, has become an important reminder to me to shower care and love to people around me no matter how busy I am.

Whenever I pass by Padang Sarang Semut highway exit, I would always remember him and I believe he is in good hands now watching over us. This thought provides a sense of relief to me and I really miss him much…

A weird title, isn’t it? This is my second blog which I have created thus far. I hope this blog does not end up motionless as my first one has been.

Friendster is indeed a good site for me to keep in contact with my friends, especially those I have not met for decades. I can’t describe how overwhelmed I was when I saw or "bumped" into "some sort" familiar faces here. As years passed, our looks have more or less changed, but the faces could be unmistakenly recognizable via some unique marks. It could be a pair of beautiful eyes, Angelina Jolie’s lips, Jacy Chan’s nose, etc. For my case, a mole at the bottom right of my mouth. :p

So, my dear friends, no matter how long we have known each other; no matter whether you could remember how to spell my name or not, thank you for you have coloured my life. I hope I have to, in any part of your life. :)